[ he watches after the woman, making no attempt to stop her. half-glad this pressured encounter's over, half-annoyed - unsettled? - to find that they'd achieved no concrete agreement, he drums his fingers against his thigh, telling himself he'd done what he could. telling himself that her words mean nothing.
as if that were possible.
'you'll do it again unless you learn something.' she can't know the depth of resonance those words carry. can't know the way they enter into his marrow, hollow out his bones until he feels only the threat of recurrence, of what he's been, of what he'll be again.
it's true that he'd dealt poorly with her earlier, slipped back into old habits of address. it's true he could do the same again. 'unless you learn' but what. he's tried, and this... that it should happen in spite of his efforts to hide himself. how many times might it happen again, with no warning.
he doesn't care for this. he doesn't like the way he feels. and rubbing a hand across his jaw, he stares off into nothing, trying to quiet the questions now crowding his skull. ]
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as if that were possible.
'you'll do it again unless you learn something.' she can't know the depth of resonance those words carry. can't know the way they enter into his marrow, hollow out his bones until he feels only the threat of recurrence, of what he's been, of what he'll be again.
it's true that he'd dealt poorly with her earlier, slipped back into old habits of address. it's true he could do the same again. 'unless you learn' but what. he's tried, and this... that it should happen in spite of his efforts to hide himself. how many times might it happen again, with no warning.
he doesn't care for this. he doesn't like the way he feels. and rubbing a hand across his jaw, he stares off into nothing, trying to quiet the questions now crowding his skull. ]